Let's talk about your inner child.
You may have heard of the term “inner-child” in self-help books, workshops, social media, and maybe even your therapist (Guilty as charged!). But exactly does it mean? Is there an actual little person running around inside of you (Okay, that sounded a little weird)? The idea of the inner-child can somewhat be attributed to our unconscious mind. Let’s think about it as a subpersonality that reveals itself when faced with praises or difficulties. For example, your inner-child or childlike persona may manifest when you are faced with rejection from a friend or the need to succeed to please your parents. Our wounded inner-child can display as emotional, relationship, and behavioral issues we face as adults. So, in some ways- we are all like hurt adult children walking around this planet? Ha. That’s an interesting concept.
When we are children, we are taught to embrace our curiosity, creativity, joy, wonder, imagination, and innocence. As we get older, we are fed the idea that you have to “grow up,” you know- get a job, pay bills, handle emotions properly, yadda, which leaves us stifling and ignoring our childlike personas. We end pushing down our sense of curiosity and wonder, and yet, our inner child still holds onto our traumas, fears, sadness, anger, and pain. We have convinced ourselves as adults that denial is healthy behavior. But, instead, what we have created is hurt adult children.
A few signs that you may have a wounded inner child:
You are a people pleaser.
You experience difficulties in trusting and committing to people and obligations.
You have abandonment issues and often are involved in toxic and unhealthy relationships.
You struggle with maintaining a solid and secure self-identity.
You find it hard to navigate outside of your safe or comfort zone, resulting in intense feelings of anxiety
You find yourself frequently in conflict or against the people you keep in company.
You struggle with hoarding (OCD) behaviors, but also you may hard time letting go of people and emotions.
Working toward healing the inner child.
Often the work of healing the inner child involves revealing and releasing the causes of the childlike aspects of the personality.
In a professional and safe therapeutic setting, your therapist or counselor may employ various approaches and modalities to help create a sense of safety to help emerge and work toward healing your inner child.
This may include implementing:
Ways to start connecting with your inner child outside of therapy:
Performing a body scan to connect with your inner emotions that your inner child maybe experiencing.
Indulge in your favorite childhood treats.
Have “play” time (This may be a simple as riding a bike around your neighborhood).
Read children’s books.
Revisit photos of your childhood.
Sing silly songs (i.e., ABC’s or the theme song of Spongebob Squarepants (don’t judge me-it works))
Write a letter of apology or praise to your inner child.
Create a piece of artwork.
Saying affirmations and mantras such as, “I am here to take care of you”
Design a special room or space dedicated to your younger self.
“The real you is still a little child who never grew up. Sometimes that little child comes out when you are...expressing yourself in some way. These are the happiest moments of your life - when the real you comes out, when you don’t care about the past and you don’t worry about the future. You are childlike. ”
